A few weeks in the past, I posted a couple of really horrible proposal of marriage obtained by Elizabeth Bennet in Delight and Prejudice, and the way it’s like some fundraising: The type the place organizations say, “You need to donate as a result of that might be excellent for us.”
Since then, I remembered one thing else about Delight and Prejudice: Elizabeth had the misfortune of getting a second horrible proposal, not lengthy after that first one. This one from Mr. Darcy, a super-rich man who appeared to dislike almost everybody, together with Elizabeth.
Till he abruptly exhibits up the place she’s staying and, to her nice shock, says he loves her and needs to marry her. However boy does he blow it. He mainly says I’m an enormous deal, you aren’t, and I shouldn’t marry you — however I wish to anyway. Right here’s a part of that scene from the ebook, which not directly describes what he has to say:
His sense of her inferiority — of its being a degradation — of the household obstacles which judgment had all the time against inclination, had been dwelt on with a heat which appeared as a result of consequence he was wounding, however was most unlikely to suggest his swimsuit…. He concluded with representing to her the energy of that attachment which, despite all his endeavours, he had discovered unimaginable to overcome; and with expressing his hope that it will now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he mentioned this, she may simply see that he had little doubt of a beneficial reply. He spoke of apprehension and anxiousness, however his countenance expressed actual safety.
Typically, fundraising is like that:
Our group is basically, actually necessary. We do one thing that issues quite a bit, and we’re excellent at it. You, donor, then again, are poor in some ways. You could have few sources. You don’t actually perceive our work. You might be insufficiently related with our trigger. You simply don’t get it. However we want your cash. So cough it up.
Then they surprise why “Elizabeth” says no.
Sadly, we see fundraising like that often. It’s fairly in style amongst some in our group.
Many readers of the ebook surprise how Elizabeth may probably settle for Mr. Darcy, as she ultimately does — they usually get married. How may anybody say sure after such a self-centered, scolding, disagreeable enchantment letter proposal.
In most relationship moments, issues go higher while you perceive: It’s not all about me!
If you wish to affect individuals and improve your connection, you’ll want to perceive their world. Why they would possibly care. Actually, What’s in it for them?
Approaching the connection with an conceited, me-first, “you’re a loser” strategy is a fast path to failure. Whether or not you’re searching for marriage or a donation. Relationships go each methods.
Poor Mr. Collins was a schlub. Mr. Darcy was a jerk (There’s a greater time period for what he was, however I choose to not use it right here).
Don’t be both of them.
The 1995 TV miniseries of Delight and Prejudice depicts what Mr. Darcy may need really mentioned for his proposal. See it right here on YouTube.
